Wednesday, 13 February 2013

If Teenagers Could Set Homework...

Every week the same Year Ten students attempt to derail their drama lesson by asking my opinion about various bands and films. As my time with them is fast coming to a close, I decided to humour them by allowing them to set me a homework each in our penultimate lesson. The only instructions they were given? Avoid overly personal questions and anything that would alone take me several hours to complete. During the lesson I left the fate of my weekend in their hands by passing around a piece of paper and a pen.

If you've ever pondered what kind of homework teenagers would set given the chance then here's your answer:

Q: What's your favourite band?

A: I'm not sure I have one favourite.

Q: Do you like Panic! At The Disco?

A: They're probably the most instantly likeable out of my listening homeworks set.

Q: Do you like Enter Shikari?

A: They're a bit nu-metal for me these days.

Q: Do you like Vybz Kartel – Straight Jeans And Fitted?

A: I made a few seconds into this song before having to relieve myself of the torture.

Q: Do you ever go to festivals? If so, which ones? Do you party?

A: From 16 up I went to two festivals a year until I started teaching and school term dates meant Glastonbury was tricky.

Q: What is your favourite song and what's your favourite R n' B song now?

A: I don't really have one favourite and the last “R n' B” song I remember liking is Estelle's American Boy.

Q: What's the most embarrassing thing you did in school?

A: There are far too many to list but the most relevant memory I have is during a play rehearsal when I was sitting near the edge of a stage and the teacher kept telling me to move my chair nearer the edge, despite my protestations. Inevitably my chair eventually toppled over the edge causing me to fall onto lots of upturned gym equipment and severely wind myself.

Q: Research about wombats – what do they eat?

A: Funnily enough, I have appreciated wombats for many years since first meeting one when visiting the east coast of Australia. They eat plants, roots and grasses.

Q: Do you like 80s' films? (Hint: Say “yes” and talk to me about The Breakfast Club)

A: I do indeed like 80s' films and The Breakfast Club is one of my favourites.

Q: Have you seen Con Air or read Salem's Lot?

A: I watched Con Air years ago but not recently and haven't read Salem's Lot, although I used to favour Stephen King novels in my youth.

Q: What's the worst thing you did as a child? Did anyone know?

A: I did plenty of shameful things but one that always sticks in my mind is the day when I was pushing my Nan on a swing and the whole thing toppled over into a hedge. I was devastated and felt awful.

Q: Listen to The Joy Formidable, what do you think?

A: They are the kind of angry girl rock I should keep as a guilty pleasure but will admit to quite liking – for this reason they reminded me of Letters To Cleo.

Q: On a scale of 1-10, how amazing am I?

A: Given I couldn't fault the student who set me this taxing question, the answer was an easy 10.

Q: Do you like Fleet Foxes?

A: I have a feeling I should have an opinion on this already. They sound like growers and like Simon and Garfunkel might have been one of their influences.

Q: What's your favourite musical to watch?

A: I'd recommend Taboo to anyone; having seen it years ago, I remember thoroughly enjoying it and laughing pretty hard. It's back on in London for anyone travelling that way:

Q: Listen to The Maine's Pioneer album, do you like them as a band?

A: They're the kind of band I would have liked if they'd been around when I was 19.

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