Oh How The Mind Expands

The saying goes “you learn something new every day” and this week this actually rings true. Having to teach an array of subjects of course means I'm constantly learning and re-learning a variety of academic disciplines but this week I've been exposed to and stumbled across a whole array of weird and not-too-wonderful new words and concepts.

My week begins with a student declaring the unheard of. One lunch a young lady of average build confesses she likes it when she's fat. I'm then bowled over by an exceedingly troubled pupil actively wanting to learn about long division, even when given a choice of subjects.

Being in close proximity to the same students every day, they're unknowingly teaching me their lingo. I always used to relish learning new words but no longer being in school on a regular basis means I'm not exposed to kid-speak. I'm particularly taken with a combination of words meaning really rude - “bare basty”.

The linguist and geek inside forces me to look up both words and a strange exceedingly overused utterance, “dang”:

“Bare” http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bare%20good

“Basty” http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=BASTY

“Dang” http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dang

Later, sharing my findings over an Orange Wednesdays pizza, the conversation somehow strays to disturbing inventions and I'm reminded of "P-Mate" - "the quick, clean, leak-proof and discreet solution for women on the go":

http://www.homeandweb.com/p-mate.htm

and introduced to the rather disturbing, "Menstrual Cup", apparently "the most modern intimate hygiene product for ladies" and “regardful of the environment“ with a lifetime of up to 15 years, if maintained correctly. This baby creates a "happy, healthy [private] place":

http://www.menstrualperiodcup.com/menstrual-cup-healthy-vagina/

While the latter horrifies me, P-Mate is vaguely familiar from festival speak and elicits fond memories of the legendary "dick pants" once discovered in a novelty gift Christmas catalogue free with a newspaper. Although P-Mate may not be a faux-latex penis-pants combo allowing females to wee standing up, it's a step in the right direction and the least worrying of this week's discoveries.