The Trouble With Russell

“A leopard can’t change it spots” but this Leo’s opinions and tastes seem to be able to inexplicably and suddenly change. I haven’t been to the cinema in over a week now. Normal for some but entirely exceptional for me. Since moving to London, re-training and starting my painful and currently unfruitful job search, one thing has kept me busy and sane – my beloved cinema visits. However much I may slate Cineworld in Wood Green, I can’t deny the hours of distraction and vast amount of saved money Cineworld’s monthly pass has provided me with. When you have little money and a limited and random array of London based friends, life isn’t lived in the social fast lane. Since last September when I signed my Cineworld contract, I have seen approximately two to three films every week but this last week nothing.

Russell Crowe falls into my category of unfathomable dislikes alongside Hugh Grant, Mcdonald’s, Beck, The Levellers and Radiohead. I can’t quite pinpoint where or when my aversion to these people or things began. For some bizarre reason for a few years when I was about fourteen, I decided Hugh Grant was cool. I have no idea why but this misguided appreciation was there until I abruptly decided one day that he was an appalling actor and no longer wanted to watch anything linked to him. Lucky for Hugh, this phase passed and I’m now open to his films again.

Beck, The Levellers and Radiohead were all bands I used to love – I remember bobbing away to Beck at V97. Now I find The Levellers and Beck highly irritating while Radiohead just depress me. Mcdonald’s was a treat as a child, something I would beg for, normally spilling strawberry milkshakes all over myself but for the last decade I can’t go near the place. I am no activist – the Mcdonald’s smell alone is enough to put me off and make me feel mildly nauseas.

Of course as you grow older your tastes are supposed to change and your opinions “broaden” but I can’t help but question when and how some of these changes came about. As a child I loved fake transfer tattoos and clearly remember carefully placing a giant black skull along the length of my sister’s neck – as someone who detests tattoos, describing them as “common”, mum wasn’t best pleased. Now, I have no desire for any form of tattoo while my sister has three – relievingly none are giant skull tattoos or cover her entire neck!

One aspect of my life that has remained consistent is my attitude towards my friends. As children, it is common to fall in and out with people and bicker and as an adult, it is easy to lose touch. I remember only three Russell Crowe moments involving “friends”, all of which I can at least justify. I recall one friend coming to stay at my parent’s house for a weekend – the first time I had ever spent such a long period of time with him. By the end of the weekend his sycophantic ways had charmed my mother but failed to impress me. After Big G asked him to stay longer and join us for dinner, I burst into uncontrollable tears. Not a tearful or particularly emotional person, his slimy moves, snide competitive remarks and attempts at ingratiating himself had driven me beyond my limit to a point where I could no longer tolerate another minute with him.

My year of travelling has caused observable changes – I am no longer so interested in clothes/shoe shopping and don’t view wearing the same outfit two days running as a crime. I am still a hoarder but I’m more open to some de-cluttering – if I don’t like a book why keep I, eh? Unlike with Russell Crowe, I can pinpoint the reason of all of these changes.

Poor old Russell Crowe is somebody I have just started disliking. I’ve read through his back-catalogue but still can’t pinpoint the moment or film release that made me so against him. I was never a huge fan but wouldn’t actively avoid a film merely because he is in it – something I now find myself doing.

Having seen everything I particularly wanted to see, this last week I was left with the choice of Miley Cyprus’ first big feature role in The Last Song (widely panned but need I even tell you this?) or yet another Robin Hood film. A fan of Cate Blanchett, I’d have given Robin Hood a go if it wasn’t for Crowe’s involvement. Just watching trailers makes me sink into my chair. I’m not sure if all this is the result of press coverage presenting Crowe in a negative light, his choice of films having no appeal to me whatsoever or some other undiscovered cause – the more I reflect, the more I start to think Mel Gibson should be included in my earlier list. I know I’m not the only person who feels this way about both these actors so perhaps some of you guys can help me out? Whatever the cause, I blame Russell Crowe for this week’s film famine.